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'Degrassi' react: 'I'm so excited! I'm so excited!'

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Image Credit: Stephen Scott/Epitome Pictures, Inc.

Now that was 100 percent intense.

One week after asking Dallas to give her a study aid hookup, Alli is so far down the Jessie Spano rabbit hole that she’s popping speed right in the middle of the media immersion lab. The uppers are keeping her awake, but naturally there are downsides — namely, she’s running around Degrassi like the tiniest hulk, freaking out at the slightest provocation, disrupting prom committee meetings, and showing up tweaking at the Torres house in the middle of the night. This is your brain on drugs.

In Alli’s addled mind, the most important thing in the world is getting Dallas and Claire to make nice so that everyone can attend an upcoming Jay-Z concert together. (Side note: I miss when Degrassi would invent fake bands for its characters to worship. Remember Jimmy’s triumphant trip to the Kid Elrick concert in season 4?) Naturally, the only way to accomplish this goal is for Dallas to “rap-pologize” — that’s rap-apologize — to Alli’s BFF in the middle of the caf. This leads to a classic Degrassi moment that’s right up there with the first time Drake ever rapped on the show. Glory in these lyrics:

I think I was a jerk / But I’m not squeaky clean / I just got issues, you know what I mean? I didn’t mean to mess up your birthday / I guess what it is that I’m trying to say / Is I’m sorry / For the garden / And I hope you can give me a pardon / Cause I wrote this rhyme just for you / and I really wanna come and see Jay-Z too.

Genius.

Of course, the Alli story isn’t all sunshine and rappologies. She’s gone without sleep for so long that she’s actually starting to hallucinate — but instead of throwing the pills out and taking a nap, she throws them out (yay!) and… gets behind the wheel of her brand-new car (no! no! NOOO!). Nobody is hurt in the resulting crash, but it does shake Alli up enough to admit that she’s not ready to fast-track through high school. If that means another season of Alli’s antics, I support her decision.

Meanwhile, Tristan is delighted to see that his fake Master Cleanse has led to a seven pound weight loss in just seven days. He’s so thrilled that he decides to keep cleansing instead of eating — uh oh — which leads to him straight up having a heart attack while doing yoga with his crush. Whoa! This episode handled a tough issue really well by resisting the urge to call Tristan “anorexic” after just one week of crazy dieting, yet still showing how crazy dieting can get very dangerous very quickly.

And then there’s Imogen and Fiona’s mama drama — a storyline that might have been more interesting in a less intense episode. I sort of wish the C-plot spot had been given over to comic relief, just to keep “I Want It That Way: Part 2″ from feeling too after school special-y — but Imogen and Fiona are one of the show’s current top couples, so I understand the desire to integrate them into this story.

Next week, (American) Thanksgiving makes TeenNick’s scheduling a little wonky: Degrassi will air new episodes on both Monday and Tuesday. Until then, let’s discuss: How did you like tonight’s episode?

Read more:
‘Degrassi’ react: It’s a set-up!
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